Sunday, 1 July 2012

I see dead people

I asked my Mum to look out baby photos of me, and my brother and sisters. Since I had the Boy, I've been curious about how he might look when he was older - and I thought the family photos would give me a clue.

Mum hadn't dug out all the photos of us, but she had found a few of me and some of my brother. My brother died 15 years ago in a car accident in a foreign country, when I was 14.

It was sad looking at the photos of the cheeky faced wee boy in the album, knowing his fate. I felt a wave of sadness for my parents, and also the familiar ache I get at Christmas, on my wedding day, and now for my son for never getting to meet his uncle - I'll never stop missing my brother.

My parents both maintain that the Boy resembles my brother. In my heart, I'd like this also - it would be lovely to have another family member who looks like someone who was dearly loved by us all.

In my head, I'm not sure if this is such a good thing. Looking like a dead family member must come with an awful lot of emotional baggage.

I'm not entirely sure whether they look alike. They aren't dissimilar - but then, lots of babies look the same! We'll just have to wait and see.


  1. It would be lovely if the Boy resembles your brother. I don't necessarily see that it'd bring too much emotional baggage, because the Boy will undoubtedly be the Boy and only the Boy, and so I'm sure your family will see him as he is, not as someone they lost. The fact he might look a bit like your brother might just bring him extra love. And that can't be bad.

  2. Maybe you're right, Mali. I'm just a bit concerned that, if he does, they'll end up making loads of comparisons, expect him to have the same personality, and so on. But yeah, Im sure they'll let him be his own person. It's just that they're so keen for him to look the same!

    But I guess the main thing is that he's got two doting maternal grandparents!