Any way the wind blows

My Mum claims she can diagnose why the Boy is crying over the phone. Usually it's hunger, but last night, it was 'wind'.

'Wind' is a mysterious ailment. I don't really know what it is, and I'm reluctant to ask because my Mum already enjoys feeling superior about her parenting experience as it is. As far as I can tell, its sort of the "maybe if you just relax" of the baby crying world. In that people want to strangle you when you suggest it. Because it may or may not help, and anyway, there's nothing you can do about it.

 I think it's sort-of related to burping babies. But the Boy feeds, has a couple of burps, and then is happy. I think 'wind' is a vaguer concept than burps or farts. It sort of lends the idea that there is air floating about in your baby that is mysteriously making it unhappy.

We've found that the Boy's crying can usually be resolved by feeding, a nappy change, or cuddles. The worst of times, so far, have been during his growth spurts - he wanted fed constantly and screamed with frenzied hunger when I tried to put him down for five minutes to use the toilet, get a cup of tea, Google nipple transplants.

Which makes me think that this wind business is an old-fashioned idea from when all babies got formula and were fed at set times. As well as needing to be burped more, they probably got hungry during growth spurts, which may not have entirely coincided with the times when their feeds were increased, but their crying was ascribed to the mysterious wind. That's my theory, anyway.

I was considering telling my Mum this, but she won't listen. Because I am her baby, and she will ascribe any complaints to wind...