Tuesday, 2 May 2017

Romance isn't dead

There was an article in a right wing tabloid today... a couple who are having their second child naturally after a first IVF baby have claimed that IVF is "just as romantic".


I think there's a bit of naievety in there as they seemed to be lucky on their first go at IVF and have experienced the full horror of the infertility trenches.

But... still? Romantic? My top non-romantic things about IVF are:

The drugs. Last time round, I ended up weeping copiously when I started the progesterone. Then there's the downregging, the stims, everything else. They make me want to smack my husband rather than engendering any romantic notions.

Then there's the stirrups and general poking about in your fanny. I'm fairly disinhibited about all this now. Let's face it, if they got to me then I wouldn't be counting my IVF goes on two fingers. But romantic they are not, unless you're got very strange ideas and boundaries.

The fear of failure, that you're throwing money, emotional investment, side effects and generally feeling shit at something that might never work.

I know I'm one of the lucky ones in that I did eventually have a baby.

But, y'know, if I had the option, I'd take even the most perfunctory quick shag as being about a million times more romantic then and infinitely preferable to fertility treatment.


  1. I certainly wouldn't call it romantic, but the transfer process is rather amazing that it is something that can even be done. However, she of course can say that because it sounds like her first IVF try worked. And it sounds like she didn't have any failed cycles like ones where you never even make it to the transfer or even the egg retrieval. She is trying to make IVF sound dreamy and it is anything but. The science behind it is amazing, but you clearly have your blinders on if you forget every single part of IVF.

  2. There are some truly magical moments during IVF but for the most part 'romantic' isn't a term I would use myself. Especially not at the moment, down regulating for a frozen embryo transfer and lying awake for three hours a night drenched in sweat from the hot flushes while my husband snores peacefully beside me. Height of romance, that!

    Cait @ Click's Clan

    1. I think it depends on how long you do it. By the end of the six cycles it took to have the Boy it felt more weighted by fear than anything else. But then, I'm having another go so it can't be that bad.

      I hated the sweats and felt like stabbing my husband.

  3. Nothing says romance like dropping your pants for a quick progesterone shot before work!

  4. Yea romantic is the last word that comes to mind when I think of IVF! Unless you enjoy being probed by the dildo cam